What it takes to be my submissive outside of sessions

Being a sub is no easy task and serving me outside of sessions is going to have its own trials and tribulations.


As you may or may not be aware, I am a lifestyle as well as professional Dominant. I therefore have a small number submissives that serve me outside of session.


Image by Prawny

(As you can see, they have been trained so well that my head actually manages to levitate).


If someone comes in and tells me off the bat, ‘I want to serve you outside of session’, ‘my dream is to be your personal slave/sub’- this to me is warning light. It normally suggests that the person is thinking with their phallus and being lead by it. No amount of careful consideration or thought has gone into that sentence. A number of my personal subs didn’t have this in mind when they first started serving me, it was a natural and fluid progression for us both.


So, what does it take to be my personal submissive?


The list is long, but to make it easier to achieve here are a few bullet points to keep in mind if this is your goal.


  • Firstly, you cannot expect to become a personal submissive of mine if you have never served me in person! I expect those who wish to serve me to make regular attendance. This is a great way for us to get to know each other and for you to show me your willingness to serve and progress.


  • Show me your appreciation in various ways, whether by sending me a thoughtful message, adding a little extra tribute, randomly getting me a gift that I mentioned I would like or something from my wish list. Be creative, there is more than one way to show that you value me.


  • Don’t reiterate about wanting to be my personal sub! There will be a natural progression and after some time, when the time is right mention it. Just don’t talk about it in the first month or so of meeting me!


  • Be selfless. I know that many acts of submission can in fact be ‘selfish’ (gaining pleasure from serving the other etc.) but aim to please me without an agenda.


  • Do your homework. Show me that you’ve been reading up on my blog or that you’ve read my website. Know my 5 most important things. I have been really impressed in the past by a few who have recited my 5 most important things to me in our first session. Now that makes for a great first impression!


  • What skills do you have? Perhaps you have some skills that may help me in some way. And I don’t mean offering to rub my feet when I’m back home from being out all day (this is what I consider to be selfish submission).


  • Lastly, but certainly not least. Listen. If I am telling you about things that I need you to improve and you are not doing it, what is the point? One that crops up quite frequently is communication. I don’t expect you to be perfect straight away, or even ever, but I do expect you to aim for 100% every time. Listening doesn’t just mean what you can improve, it means anything that is a part of your training or getting to know me better.


Being my personal submissive is a journey not just for you, but for us both. We will get to know each other and not just about kinks and the BDSM world, but as people. The journey of two people getting to know one another is one of the most awe-inspiring experiences that we can have as humans. Keep your head high and believe in your path. If you work hard enough for it, you will make it happen.


‘Journey before destination’- Brandon Sanderson


~ Empress Akari

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